photo by evert-jan
Sarah Haskins recently put together a sardonic commentary on the inundation of wedding themed reality programming available on the WE channel. Not only do weddings seem to bring out the absolute worst in brides, but the occasion allows for targeted marketing to women who always seem to want to lose at least 10 pounds before the wedding.
And now, according to the NYTimes, bridal parties are no longer just sharing in manicures and beefcake strippers, they’re turning to cosmetic procedures at the behest of the bride-to-be.
Marie Scalogna-Watkinson, the founder of Spa Chicks on-the-Go, a mobile spa, said she receives five to seven calls a month from brides seeking Botox or Restylane for their bridesmaids. Five years ago, collective makeovers were unheard of, she said.
It’s old news that some brides are actually resorting to contractual agreements with bride’s maids to control as much of their day as possible — including the bridal party’s weight, up do’s and behavior at the ceremony and reception. a recent advice column responded to a woman asking for advice on how to exclude a close somebody from the bridal party because she’s fat and would “ruin” the wedding photos. The advice columnist did not have many kind words for the bride.
The focus on aesthetics has compounded itself with women asking their best friends to undergo body modifications of some sort.
Samantha Goldberg, a wedding planner in Chester, N.J., recalled a bride who asked her attendants to get professionally spray-tanned for a Hawaiian-theme reception. Alas, two women were claustrophobic and couldn’t bear standing in a tanning capsule. “They asked the bride if they could use regular tanning cream from a salon,” Ms. Goldberg said. The bride refused; she wanted everyone to be the same shade. The women ultimately declined to be bridesmaids. “Friendships of 20-plus years gone over a spray tan?” (NYT)
Trying to ensure a perfect day seems more likely to ruffles feathers and damage relationships. Is it really more important that wedding photos, rather than life long friendships, last a life time? Isn’t having one’s closest friends share your big day, regardless of their shape, size, or weight, the best gift of all? It seems that photoshopping photos would be a lot easy than making the wedding day an ordeal for anyone participating.
Fortunately, some women are putting their pale peach stilettos down when Bridezilla goes too far.
Becky Lee, 39, a Manhattan photographer, declined when a friend asked her — and five other attendants — to have their breasts enhanced. “We’re all Asian and didn’t have a whole lot of cleavage, and she found a doctor in L.A. who was willing to do four for the price of two,” said Ms. Lee, who wore a push-up bra instead . . .
These days, it seems like those of us not drinking the Wedding Kool-Aid are few and far between.
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Call me crazy, but weddings should be focused on the new relationship, and if you happen to be a person of faith, the mystical experience of devoting yourself to someone forever in God’s name and your entire family. My wedding was hands down the most incredible experience of my life. Not because of the extraneous crap, but truly because of the love, wonder, and intimacy of what I was taking on.
Of course you need to have fun with your wedding, it’s a time to celebrate and I love some of the seemingly frivolous details. I freaked out a number of times, but overall, I tried to focus on the more important things. I refused to go on a crash diet, I chose a modestly priced gown and had a strolling dinner in a tiny restaurant instead of a huge formal gathering. There has to be a balance.
Sounds like were sanely old school