Some of my all time favorite song lyrics are in the song, Monsters. It doesn’t take a huge leap to conclude the song is about depression, but my favorite line is more of a life goal.
’cause i don’t want to be a container
or a bastard with a ten page disclaimer
I don’t just want to take up space in this life or be the person life happened to. I really want to make a difference and leave my mark.
i was hanging upside down from the overpass
waiting to discover something about the world
i couldn’t get with the program and i couldn’t listen to them
it was like trying to think in reverse
and i don’t want to slide into apathy
and i don’t want to die in captivity
but these monsters follow me around
hunting me down, trying to wipe me outwipe me out
i was hiding away under water
waiting for distance and buying some time
trying to be two hundred thousand years younger
so i could excuse myself from humankind
’cause i don’t want to be a container
or a bastard with a ten page disclaimer
but these monsters spin me around
get me down, just try and shut me outshut me out
hold it in your head
believe and make believe and make believei was hiding away under water
waiting for distance, waiting for time
and i don’t want to slide into apathy and i don’t
and i don’t want to live in captivity
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I always wondered what people would make of that line, would they get it or just gloss over it because it didn’t make sense? The line actually refers to a very long letter (ten pages) that I wrote to Paul about being his father, hence “bastard”. The letter was mostly trying to explain that I was not responsible for the things he was accusing me of, hence ten page disclaimer.
He didn’t believe me referring to it as “the official fiction”, and “echolalia” to repeat what someone else has said, in other words you are repeating what someone else has said; “I didn’t believe them, I don’t believe you”.
Monsters refers to phobias. A monster is something that exists only in your imagination yet will scare you, a phobia such as the fear of moths, to be afraid of something you should not be afraid of, something harmless that in your mind becomes a “monster”. The monsters that are after Paul though are real people.