Archive for the 'personal growth' Category

How to shrug off self doubt

I thrive on productivity. I function best when I have a nonstop go-go-go from the moment my day starts until it ends.

Today was 11.5 hours of constant decision-making, working on deliverables, and ushering projects to the next step in their progression.  It was a rolling sea of emails, meetings, web log ins and design comps. And while I wish my workload had been 3 hours shorter, I just wouldn’t have the flow of my day any other way.

Because slow days give me time to start to second guess myself.  And there’s nothing worse than taking your self-esteem on that journey.

Marie Forleo’s Q&A Tuesday this week covers how to shake off any niggling self-doubt that may creep in during your business day.

Trust30 | cogs don’t thrive; they perform competently.

Cookie Cuttersphoto © 2008 Richard Schatzberger | more info (via: Wylio)One size does not fit all.

Cogs don’t thrive; they perform competently.

Self-help and personal growth is a huge and lucrative industry. But checklists won’t change your life. Best practices help you blend it, not stand out.

Slice and dice the professionally penned words of wisdom to take what resonates with you. Which bits help you embrace your given and trained talents? Deep dive there.

Your user’s manual is unlike that of anyone else’s. Yeah. Sometimes it feels like invisible ink is involved, but it’s all for you.  Trial and error unlocks each chapter.

You have to be ready for change.

Find your strengths in the struggle.  Own them. Game them. Take no prisoners.

The above is my sixth entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?

Trust30 | 5 years

Harper Lee Letters from Garden & Gun magazinephoto © 2010 William Arthur Fine Stationery | more info (via: Wylio)The below is my fifth entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

To 2006 Zak:

You’re a passionate person with seemingly disparate interests that can pull you in any number of directions, but they will eventually flow together. There’s no need to rush it or do it all at once. Pick one and see where it takes you.

If it doesn’t work, try something else as your passions evolve. As much as you’d like to be the hare, succeeding hard and fast, you’re shaping up to me more of the tortoise. And there’s nothing wrong with taking the long way round.

You’ve always had a different agenda from your peers. The most important lesson for you to learn now is to pay less attention to what other people are thinking. To live in fear of judgment is to self-censor so completely that you deny your gifts.

If you have to leave part of you at home, something is wrong. When you can’t express your honest thoughts, you have haven’t found your tribe. Because you can only shine and be open to infinite possibilities if you can bring your whole self to the party every day.

Lead with an open heart and mind to find the rip chords of adventure that are waiting for you.

To 2016 Zak:

Satisfaction suits you. It’s a rare person who has the luxury of getting paid to be herself and tie her passions together. You’ve found space in which characters are celebrated, not merely tolerated.

Though you are a few years off from bootstrapping your own company, the mentors you’ve found in the last few years will help you realize the opportunities when the time is right.

A decade of dead ends and pivots have finally paid off for you. Failure is no longer scary, it’s a pit stop on the way to hitting your target. When you fall down, you pick yourself up like no other. And there’s the secret sauce of your success — letting go of your expectations, ignoring judgments of those not in the moment with you, and acting on the relevant signs and signals, even when it takes a leap of faith.

Keep on making it look easy. We both know the truth.

 

Trust30 | zigging and zagging across Europe

I miss going away, all the time.photo © 2007 Julia P | more info (via: Wylio)II’ve always considered London the gateway city to Europe.  Given the close proximity of countries on that continent, London seems to be an excellent base camp for taking advantage of it all.

Unlike the 70 percent of Americans without passports, I am eager to fill mine with entry and exit stamps as time and money permit.

In fact, it is a life goal to live and work in London at some point in the next decade or so, in order to take advantage of the city hopping opportunities afforded by long weekends in a country with a more generous vacation policy than in the States.

Oh, to ride the gondolas in Venice before rising seas sink the city for good. Or revisiting Giverny, this time when Monet’s gardens are in full bloom. And I’m enough of a speed demon to want to drive the German autobahn.

Doesn’t everyone want to know what Holland sites are must sees? Though I’m not much of a skier, everyone should experience a getaway to a real Swiss chalet at least once.

The possibilities for adventure are endless within the bounds of a several year stint in London. Realistically, I’m more likely to save up for several multi-week treks across different parts of Europe. But I’m still open to the opportunities that could move me abroad.

What travels are on your bucket list?

The above is my fourth entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

It’s not too late to sign up and participate.

Trust30 | making a name for myself

Dream Bigphoto © 2011 Joamm Tall | more info (via: Wylio)Over at The Freedom Experiment, Marthe asks readers, “What is your sacred, most intimate dream?” because she “believe[s] that dreams become more powerful when shared. Stars align when people know your deepest desires.”

After the past few months of soul searching, my deep-rooted dream is to track toward life as a technology evangelist.

Yes, plenty of people focus on the relationship drawbacks of the digital universe.

But I prefer to focus on the transformative nature of social technology and its many products, networks and interfaces. Culture shift is taking place rapidly. Affordable mobile phone service in Africa made independent contracting possible for those who had otherwise limited work options. Text4Baby provides a valuable public service in sending subscribing moms regular text message updates with relevant information on maternal and baby health. And tools like Twitter have connected and enhanced interactions between private citizens and their political representatives; #weinergate disappointments aside.

In the not too distant future, I could very much see myself on the conference circuit with a book under my belt, as an expert in that arena because it just lights me up to talk about social technology. And when I get going in conversation, the giddy is contagious.

But to do that I need to get my foot in the door, preferably in mobile.

I need to parlay communications and project management experience, paid and unpaid, across academic, corporate and nonprofit environments, into a contributing position at a start up or technology company moving full speed ahead in that space.

Of course, the best place to be is in San Francisco, so I’m applying for relevant jobs there and seeking out connections in my network to try to find an in.

My biggest obstacle is just asking for help, just putting it out there. While I prefer to be radically self-sufficient, I see the truth in Marthe’s words that “only when you share your dreams do you create space for people to reach out.”

Last Tuesday, I posted about my job hunt in a private Facebook group. By late afternoon, I had an interview scheduled with a company that I had applied to the Friday before. Immediately after a promising first round, I  ran into a neighbor I have spoken to just a handful of times in the 2 years I have lived in here. Turns out she’s a flight attendant who can potentially set me up with a discount flight, should round 2 come through. And I’ve found at least one sofa that’s freely available to me should I get the call for round 2 with this company or another in the Bay area.

Just because I dared to speak my dreams to the people who would listen.

What do your dreams look like?

The above is my third entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue?

It’s not too late to sign up and participate.

Trust30 | misery loves company

winding roadphoto © 2009 Matt MacGillivray | more info (via: Wylio)In my family, misery loves company.

One relative that hates his job has been counting down to retirement for over a decade, preferring to stay in a high stress job that takes a physical and psychological toll than float a resume or two to headhunters, even when the economy was booming. Another can spend hours agonizing over the interminable drama of tertiary relatives, rather than focusing on the aspects of life that she actually has the power to change and improve. A third goes through the same repeated motions, without ever considering new tactics, acting as if the world conspires against him, when he just isn’t ready to do the work.

It’s an exhausting co-dependent network. To call out the fearful behavior would be opening the door to addressing one’s own boundaries and limitations.

So it’s just not done.

Stretch goals and dreams are imagined lottery wins and alternate realities in which the possibilities are endless. They are fanciful what ifs that remind you of what is not, rather than opportunities to develop game plans to achieve objectives.

And I just can’t live as though the best of what life has to offer is only for everyone else. What is the point of struggle? The uphill slog helps you learn and grow, and often times you find a better destination off the map as you go.

While it’s frustrating to still be unemployed almost 9 months after a layoff, I have been busy exploring a variety of avenues that could lead to new adventures. Countless webinars, trainings and conferences have provided insight into my interests, the good life and the community-at-large. When one road doesn’t feel right I pivot and apply for different types of jobs. And along the way I’ve been picking up new information, contacts and advice that’s helping me fine tune.

Having found the sweet spot for me — where technology and human connection intersect — it’s a matter of teasing out how I can plug my skills into the space.

While I’d prefer any job hunt to be fast and easy, I know the meandering road is more likely to lead to a life that is of my own making, not one of shared inaction against situations I actually have the power to change.

The above is my second entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: What’s one strong belief you possess that isn’t shared by your closest friends or family? What inspires this belief, and what have you done to actively live it?

It’s not too late to sign up and participate.