photo © 2008 Ed Yourdon | more info (via: Wylio)

1) Prepare yourself to listen.

Smart phones, tablets, laptops, e-readers — there are endless distractions that split out attention. Some call it multi-tasking; in conversation, it’s just disrespectful. Be ready to put your full attention on the person across from you.

2) Prepare to be unprepared.

Do whatever background research you need to do to be prepared to interview. Etheredge pointed out the wide continuum of preparedness from Larry King who just winged it to James Lipton who prepares stacks of blue cards.  When it came down to questions, what they ask is actually quite similar.

But only ask questions for which you don’t know the answers; it keeps you invested in the conversation and interested in the responses.

3) Get the other party’s attention with first question.

Ask something surprising that the subject doesn’t expect. In fact, this first question is the only one Etheredge prepares to set up the the entire interview.  It might just get her to put her guard down.

4) Win her trust.

Make sure you show her that you’re there to listen and are interested in what she has to say. “Conversation is the greatest gift someone can give you.”

Body language tells is telling, so lean in and make eye contact.

5) Earn her respect.

Don’t just be a passive listener. “Let them see their story in a new light” by sharing your own experiences or thoughts on the subject. Be an active participant in the conversation.

Final thought: People touch the way the want to be touched.

If you really listen, you’ll get cues from her about how to be a better partner in conversation or in life.

The Q1 iPass Global Mobile Worker Report shows the extremes that tech dependency and a lack of boundaries push workers toward. Employees tapping into work from a mobile device on a non-corporate network are logging an average of 240 more hours per year than those who don’t.  Of this group, ninety-one percent are checking their smart phones during down time, with sixty-four percent of those identified as Gen Y checking three or more time per hour!

And Gen Y is taking their technology to bed. Forty-five point three percent sleep within arm’s reach of their smartphones; another fourteen point six percent keep them steps away within the bedroom.  Fewer are getting a full night’s sleep with nearly half checking their phones in the middle of the night from time to time. And nearly half are checking their phones in the middle of the night at least sometimes, with forty-four percent checking email before rolling out of bed.

Members of Gen Y are increasingly suffering from FOMO — the fear of missing out — thanks to increasingly ubiquitous technology in our lives.  And it’s not just our work lives that trail us around the clock.

JWTIntelligence recently reported on the social aspect of this trend.  Their researchers officially define FOMO as “the uneasy and sometimes all encompassing feeling…that your peers are doing, in the know about or in possession of more or something better than you”.

The steady stream of status updates running through social media sites in a drumbeat of events and happenings in your backyard and in distant locales.  It’s no wonder that eighty percent of 18-33 year olds see people as using these communication channels for bragging rights.  Over-scheduled teens have become the same over scheduled adults planning for every minute, in an effort to keep up.

As increasingly powerful technology crunches all aspects of our lives into smaller and smaller devices, it will become even more difficult to avoid the temptation to check-in on the weekends or your lunch hour or an evening out with friends.

What realistic boundaries can be set so that we can all tune out and just revel in the moments we should have to ourselves?

After placing my order on Saturday afternoon, I was extremely impressed that my order was not only processed but shipped the same day.

The only down side to ordering through Wirefly is that Fedex is their shipping provider. In the 2 years I’ve been in my current apartment, I can’t recall receiving a Fedex package without drama. UPS and USPS have no problems finding me, but Fedex always insists I don’t have a valid address.

And without fail, Fedex failed on Tuesday.  Online tracking indicated my address was incorrect.  I called Fedex — which confirmed my address — and I explained where my apartment is and had a chuckle with customer service about my invisibility to their drivers. Rep assured me that he would forward extra delivery information along to dispatch.

And my phone is still being held hostage by the Fedex facility on Wednesday night. I call Fedex again — customer service is now telling me that there is NO address in the system for this package. The package was shipped from Wirefly with no street address — sorry, an incomplete street address of “South Apt 100″. My street address does not include the word south, nor do I live in Apt 100.

I provide my correct address to customer service who assures delivery on Thursday,  but it is not to be. The person processing the address change calls me back to let me know she cannot approve shipment to the correct address, regardless of the fact that it was in the system on Tuesday when I called, until Wirefly.com calls to approve the address change. Doesn’t matter that I’m the paying customer, they are contractually obligated to get the permission from the sender before making that change.

All Wirefly needs to do is call the 800-number, provide the tracking number and OK my address.

That’s all they need to do. That’s all. That. Is. All.

It is actually difficult to get to a human being at Wirefly. I forgot about  GetHuman until I was 40 minutes into my call with Wirefly.  Their automated system is chock full of directions and helpful information that was neither relevant or helpful. After trying a few different numbers listed on their site, I found my way to the customer service queue.

I explained the situation to Rav.

Unfortunately it is not Wirefly’s approved process to call Fedex to straighten out shipping snafus. Instead, they recall the original package and ship a new one. And they’d expedite shipping for free so that I’d get my package the next business day, but because it was so late in the day that really meant 2 days later.

It seems like a lot of paperwork when a 3 minute phone call to Fedex would get me my phone on Thursday. Rav agrees but it’s not the approved process. Rav speaks to his manager, but no go. It’s not the approved process. I spend much time on hold and in verbal round robins that go no where.

Fine, ship me a new phone ASAP.  Rav now has to explain the situation to Marcus, the guy who approves orders. Marcus has concerns that the same problem could recur if he approves the shipping of a second phone, so he can’t approve the order.  He has to get permission from his corporate overlord before he can do so. And it could take 24 hours to get that approval.  Rav informs me that the worst case scenario is 24-hours, but the escalation is being flagged as the highest priority for UPPER MANAGEMENT.

There are now at least 4 people involved at Wirefly.  I have been on the phone for an hour.  Think about how much paperwork this problem is generating. All because there’s a specific process that must be abided by in lieu of a 3-minute phone call.  Yes, a 3-MINUTE phone call.

(The one bright spot in this hour is that Rav realizes the situation is absurd and notes that he will raise this situation with the appropriate channels in an effort to generate process improvement.  Front guy line realizes there is a need to improve the process by which these situations are handled.  It doesn’t make up for the fact that I don’t have my phone or that I spent an hour on the line when a 3-minute call would resolve things, but it gives me hope that someone at the company has a clue.)

As of this morning, it appears that upper management agreed with me and thought the 3-minute phone call was the most prudent option because the tracking number shows that my phone is out for delivery. Again. But now my hope of new smartphone ownership hinges on FEDEX finding my apartment.

Best part, I received a customer satisfaction survey email from Wirefly starting off with, “We hope you are enjoying your recent wireless purchase.”  The form email goes on to note its awesome benefits to online customers including “100% customer satisfaction” and “Fast, reliable FEDEX SHIPPING”.  No. Just No.

To say I’ve been underwhelmed by Wirefly is an understatement.  And all to save an extra $20 off Verizon’s pricing online. Some discounts aren’t worth the hassle.

Jay Smooth asks whether it’s too much to ask of the media to not feed the trolls?

photo © 2010 o5com | more info (via: Wylio)

On a recent G5 Leadership webinar, Connie Dieken, author of Talk Less, Say More, shared her tips on how to “fight presentation bloat” and take your audience from their various starting points to the conclusion you want and need it to reach.  Whether you’re seeking a commitment of time, money or social capital, you need to put your focus on generating the desired impact through the following 3 steps: connect, convey and convince.

Connect

You’ll lose an audience quickly if you can’t demonstrate why listeners should care.  Start strong and “frontload your message” so that “what’s relevant to the audience comes first”.  Don’t work through the details to get to your point; drive it home first and then dig in.

Speak to them in their language and cover their concerns.

Convey

The presentation shouldn’t include everything and the kitchen sink; use “portion control”  Only include the must-know information; you can follow up and distribute other information as the need presents itself.

Interestingly, Dieken pointed out that the brain processes visual stimuli ten times quicker than text, so a great graphic can be more effective than a slide full of text.   I’m particularly fond of the cartoons developed to support Annie Leonard’s Story of Stuff.  The stick figures and other doodles illustrate a lot of information in a very engaging way.

Convince

Body language is more than half the battle.  You need to look and sound as if you know what you’re talking about and believe in the efficacy of whatever action you’re pushing.  Because if you don’t believe what you’re selling, why should anyone else?

There’s always a doubting Thomas in the room, so your best bet is to take preventative action beforehand and turn potential naysayers into allies.   Schedule time with such parties to get their feedback and work the resolutions into your presentation; a colleague that might otherwise torpedo your efforts becomes an ally with a stake in making the project succeed.

What steps do you take to ensure you take your audience from A to B?

For information on upcoming G5 webinars, check out their event calendar.  They offer several 90-minute, online classes each month taught by best-selling business authors who’ve set their sights on enhancing your soft skills.  For $129 per year, you can have access to their complete roster of trainings plus workbooks, slide decks and recordings for review at a later date.

photo © 2009 Jacob Gube | more info (via: Wylio)

Work-Life Balance is a myth.

At a conference I attended a few years ago, Gloria Steinem explained an unfortunate effect of feminism. In convincing women that they could have a meaningful career and family, the message got absorbed as though women needed to have it all. . . at once.

Laporte recommended an alternative: work-life proportion. Different parts of your life take priority at any given time. Your focus could shift over a few months or a few years. And each of us is operating on a different schedule.

She also recommends a “Stop Doing List” — where can you let go and say no to have more time for your priorities?  Especially “at the beginning of something ambitious, forgive yourself for letting some things go.  It’s not about expanding; it’s about focusing.”

Who are your professional heroes and role models? Forleo reminded everyone that “people who achieved greatness didn’t set out in life to achieve balanced lives; they set out to achieve greatness, not how am I going to please everyone.”

With people pleasing in mind:

Focus on your tribe.

Don’t water down the value you bring to the table by trying to be all things to all people. Be yourself, and be passionate in representing your interests.

Laporte encouraged listeners to piss people off. “If you’re not polarizing yourself, you’re not showing up fully.” At our best, we aren’t generically appealing to the lowest common denominator.  When you start trying to broaden your base to cover everyone you “polish off [you] edges literally and figuratively.” And that’s how we end up numbered cogs, not vibrant individuals.

What are your network aspirations?

Are there leaders in your field that seem out of reach to you? Make it your mission to earn your way into their world. Forleo suggested listeners “become their best customer. . . learn what they know” and put it to work.  Buy their books.  Subscribe to their blogs.  Attend their speaking engagements. Be a great customer by sending them feedback and telling them how their tried and true advice and experience impacted your life and business.  It starts paving the way to a relationship and the ask that will get you there.

In theory, I could write a series of blog posts off the one hour call, but I think every one walks away with the information they need and are ready to hear.  Download the full teleconference, chock full of permission and suggestions, for plenty of other gems that resonate strongly with you.

photo © 2004 Rob Holland | more info (via: Wylio)

That subconscious response is why nutritionists often recommend dieters serve their meals on smaller plates.  Even if you clear a salad-sized plate of food, you’re still coming in under the calorie count of a full dinner place – a mind game that helps keep you on track with weight loss goals.

And that same psychology appears to apply with overall consumption too.  This weekend the WSJ reported on Commerce Department data indicating that 11.2 percent of American spending in 2011 is for non-essential purchases (exclusive of requisite items like food, housing and medicine).  Despite a recession and mass unemployment, people are still shopping for wants beyond their needs; in 1959 such goods only accounted for four percent of spending.

This growth in non essential spending seems to parallel with the ever expanding square footage requirements of American home owners.  The average home in 1950 was just 983 square feet compared with 2349 square feet for new homes in 2004.

Purchasing a home typically means moving into a large space. Thus, owners grow into a  new space buying items to furnish extra rooms and to cover empty walls and to fill the nooks and crannies that give a home character. The advertising industry — having created the Pavlovian need to keep up with the Joneses — and a consumer technology sector — with routine product enhancements every 18 months or so a la Moore’s Law, combined with environmentally tone-deaf planned obsolescence — ensure a steady drum beat of purchasing whenever dollars can be spared.

Buying habits encourage an eventual move into a larger home when the perfectly sunny abode at the end of a quiet cul-de-sac no longer seems quite as spacious. With packing comes the tossing of dated furniture and appliances that can be upgraded to shiny, new replacements. Disposing of forgotten tchotchkes or ill-fitting clothing creates even more opportunity to spend.

And it creates a kind of geographic inertia that tugs on an economy in crisis.  Ever so slowly, the cost of relocating for more lucrative — or any — opportunities creeps toward burdensome and cost prohibitive. People get tied to more than the roots in their community; they get bogged down by an obesity of stuff.

Two weeks ago she addressed a consultant who was experiencing serious burnout working with clients that doubled as energy vampires.

Forleo advised the reader to develop a prospective client checklist of traits and conditions that must be present for a client to have the good fortune to work with that consultant.  These items will ensure the consultant only works with clients that serve as energizers rather than drainers.

Surely that same approach can be used to focus a job hunt.  Regardless of the job description, the values and culture of an employer impact, for better or worse, the types of people drawn to a company.

That video got me thinking about the cultural preferences I need to focus on as my own job hunt continues. In no particular order, musts in my next work place.

1. People get creative to find the best workable solution.  There are plenty of opportunities to think in the abstract and generate unusual solutions to problems.
2. No resting on your laurels. The company is always ready to try new tools and processes to ensure the status quo is the best approach, not just an engrained habit.
3. Workers are empowered to get the job done. The company trusts that its HR methodology brings in the best people to meet the strategic objectives.  Thus, micromanaging and onerous levels of approval aren’t necessary.
4. You’re only as good as your word, so integrity is a must.  Misrepresentations or fabrications to cover the company’s vulnerabilities or to protect an individual’s opportunity to hog the glory aren’t acceptable.
5. Cookie cutters need not apply. Personality should be celebrated, not merely tolerated. Employees are viewed as vibrant individuals, not cogs in a wheel.
6. Employees have lives outside the office, so flexible schedules and telecommuting aren’t luxuries only afforded parents.
7. Management invests in professional development because they want to grow leaders and keep employees challenged.   From conferences to mentorship programs to tuition contributions, employees are exposed to new ideas and different perspectives.
8. Healthy debate is encouraged.  “Because I said so” isn’t a valid reason for doing something. Employees understand the whys and how their work fits into the overall strategic plan.
9. Failure means you’re takings risks and doing something new.  And staff can learn just as much from a plan gone off the rails as from trying to replicate successes.

What makes or breaks a work environment for you?

photo © 2009 Brent Linden | more info (via: Wylio)

Striving to maximize the potential of your peers and reports also helps you put the golden rule — do unto others as you’ have done unto you — in play. People are programmed to help those around them when culture permits.  Per a survey on sharing, the primary reason to do so is “to help that person because he or she would benefit from it”.

With those sentiments in mind, Farber offered 3 basic steps to cultivate your own and staff leadership potential.

1) Expand yourself.

Complete annual or semi-annual personal inventories to ensure you are developing and strengthening the value and skills you bring to a company, client or reports.   That self-review should include everything from innate and learned skills to the belief and value systems that shape you, as well as life altering experiences that have altered your perspective.

From conferences to books to mentoring, there are countless ways to build up your talents, even if you’re a seasoned pro.   That inventory should lengthen over time.

2) Give of yourself fully with no strings attached.

Share the resources at your disposal with no expectation of tit for tat.  It increases the odds people will take the opportunity to apply what’s available or build on it to do something amazing.  You can be the leader that made it possible or a valuable team player in this scenario.

Incidentally, a friend often reminds me to avoid any expectation of reciprocity because you never know how the energy you put out into the world will return to you.  Helping a  co-worker today could shift energy that allows you to connect with the person who will sponsor your job jump to better and bigger things tomorrow.

3) Replicate yourself.

The only way this process can continue is if all participants choose to pay it forward.  While you can seed growth and optimal performance in a handful of people on your own, the ripple effect as the people you impact repeat the process on others around you can transform a workplace culture or change the world.

I’m of the opinion that this type of mentoring isn’t limited to the upper echelons of management.  At every tier of the corporate ladder you can spark the magic in someone.

For information on upcoming G5 webinars, check out their event calendar.  They offer several 90-minute, online classes each month taught by best-selling business authors who’ve set their sights on enhancing your soft skills.  For $129 per year, you can have access to their complete roster of trainings plus workbooks, slide decks and recordings for review at a later date.