Tag Archive for 'life coach'

More on Life Coaching

Last week I wrote about  the proliferation of life coaches available today.

Today, on the Huffington Post, there’s a follow up to my question by life coach Christine Hassler.

Instead of constant self-scrutiny, we all need to accept that there are going to be times in our lives when we need teachers and cheerleaders – but that doesn’t mean something is wrong with us. Hiring a coach is an investment in your personal growth. Any good coach or tutor has been coached by someone else and is now just passing along the learnings. We’re all in this together! If we can approach self-improvement and coaching as something that brings out our strengths rather than looking at it as the remedy for fixing what is broken, then maybe we can finally feel good enough – exactly as we are.

The End of the road with your life coach

photo by tonywl

Earlier, I shared the insights of 2 coaches to discuss the considerations when choosing a life coach. Equally important is the decision to break from coaching, much like a fledging preparing to leave the nest.

Intuition and your coaching momentum guides your decision.  Per Susan,

When you feel ready to push yourself into better and better living and feel you don’t need it anymore.  I have on occasion graduated clients if I feel they are not moving forward anymore and they would get more benefit having to figure things out on their own.

Lynda reminds clients to stay outcome oriented.

At its best, coaching is a dynamic, collaborative partnership that supports the client to set and achieve goals, recognize and overcome obstacles to success, and acquire new tools and skill sets that are portable and transferable.  While coaching is a process, it’s a process that should produce measurable outcomes that both coach and client can see.

So it’s time to move on when:

  • You’ve accomplished the goals you set out to achieve
  • You decide that coaching isn’t the right modality for you at this time
  • You feel you’ve gotten all you

Courtney seconds the above opinions. You’re ready for a break from a coach,

When your goals are achieved. When you feel complete. When the relationship is not fruitful. If you are not doing your homework, something is up that needs to be discussed. . . You have to [come] to coaching wanting something. If you don’t know what you want, that’s the first thing I hope [your] coach will ask!

In my experience with therapy and coaching, at some point you hit a plateau. Despite ongoing effort, I just can’t seem to move forward any further with that individual. Maybe it’s because I get too comfortable with the hired party so their nudging is less effective. Or I’ve found that they hold certain paradigms dear that I just can’t embrace, and, after incorporating into my life the strategies and exercises that worked for me and disregarding ones that don’t, it’s time to find someone with a new set of tools I can rummage through.  Sometimes, breaking up is hard to do, but it may just be the next step in your process.

One final note on the coaching experience from Courtney:

You should like your coach. And you should feel that you are making clear progress toward your desired outcomes together. A strong coach will design an alliance with you, hold your agenda (not theirs) and will make it clear that you can end the coaching relationship at any time that it’s not working. As a coach, my clients come to me to help them get clear on their values, vision and goals. Then we forward the action together and build in accountability. Most of the progress happens in between the calls. The client is the one who does the work. The coach guides, helps deepen the learning and holds the agenda.

I again extend my thanks to our illustrious coaches.

If you have any questions about hiring or firing a life coach, please post them below; I’ll see to it that one of my guest coaches replies.

Lynda Levy is a psychologist and life coach dedicated to helping women achieve their professional potential based in the Los Angeles area.  Though her website is under construction, she can be reached via email.

Courtney Macavinta is an award-winning and nationally recognized journalist, coach, speaker, and author. As a coach, she works primarily with women and teen girls.

Susan Marque is a food and life coach that uses nutrition to help her clients achieve their life goals; she’s also based in the Los Angeles area.  She previously stopped by my blog to discuss office nutrition dos and don’ts.

Disclaimer: I have never been a paying client of the above coaches, though I did serve as a test client during Courtney’s training.

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A guide to life coach selection

photo by tonywl

Earlier this week my post on the the excessive number of life coaches available to professionals rankled a few Brazen Careerist community members, who came to the defense of the coaching profession.  Having worked with several coaches myself, I thought it would be a worthwhile exercise to ask a few what advice they had for prospective clients in search of a coach.

One of the issues brought up in the comments section is how to distinguished qualified coaches from the amateurs who can do more harm than good.  As with any good debate, even the experts don’t always agree on what earns the title coach.

For Lynda, coach-specific training is important:

This should be a no-brainer, but it’s not as simple as it appears.  Coaching is a new and unregulated field, and as you point out in your original piece, a wide variety of service providers call themselves coaches these days.

That said, a Life Coach (sometimes called a Personal Coach) who takes the profession of coaching seriously will have trained at some type of coach training school.  The International Coach Federation is the gold standard for accrediting coach training schools and provides a list of accredited training programs on their website.

Susan, however, cautions that formal training is not always the best route to becoming a great coach.

You can not learn how to empathize or guide people in the same way as when you have lived through and overcome the very same or similar obstacles.  I did learn quite a bit from teachers over the years and how human beings operate and how to let go of the blocks that are big stoppers but I live and breath what I teach so it isn’t coming from the outside.  I’m passionate and did not choose coaching as a profession it chose me. . .

The most qualified coaches that I learned from where not the ones who went to coaching schools or even had degrees but who have personally overcome many obstacles and have a knack for seeing the greater picture and many possibilities and are continually growing and learning themselves.

Both agree that people skills are incredible valuable and are vital to a good life coach.  Here’s what you should be on the look out for.

Lynda:

Again, a seemingly obvious but difficult to pin down category.  A potential client can discern whether their prospective coach has these skills in two ways:

  • look at the coach’s background to see what the coach has done in the past
  • get a personal experience of the coach to see how they interact with you (most coaches offer a free introductory session or lower-fee seminar or workshop where you can get a sense of what it would be like to work with them)

Susan makes the point that a coach who is qualified to work with one client, might not be the best fit for another:

I think a coach is a better match also if you particularly resonate with that person and can be pushed into your greater good by them.  No matter how great a guide may be, if you can not connect with them in some way and be able to take the coaching I don’t think it is a good fit.  Neither is a coach who just lets you spew your problems or past without being the catalyst for real change in your life.

Lynda also wants prospective clients to consider the ethical boundaries set by their coaches.

This covers everything from clearly defining what the coach does and does not do; their fees and payment policies; the boundaries of the coaching relationship; returning phone calls and emails in a timely fashion; making appropriate referrals when necessary; and knowing when coaching is not the appropriate modality for a particular client.

I’d like to add that it’s important to clarify what confidentiality expectations you have as a client. I want a non-disclosure agreement presented on day one to ensure my tales don’t travel.   I worked with a coach who realized she limited her own career by maintaining complete confidentiality.  An edit to her policy for clients later down the road  maintained her right to use her experiences coaching you (respecting your confidentiality by using another name) when she wrote her books and articles, unless the client specifically opted out in writing.

When asked about other intangibles to keep in mind when selecting a coach, Lynda reminds clients that the relationship should be about you.

- Is this coach a person you are comfortable with?
- Does the coach support you to define and achieve your goals without imposing their own agenda on you?
- Is the coach flexible and open to your questions and feedback?
- Is the coach consistently supportive of your goals?
- Is the coach gracious when you want to end the coaching relationship and always mindful of your best interests?

As Susan adds, don’t be afraid to shop around.
It’s a bit like choosing a doctor.  Find the coach you feel comfortable working with and it’s okay to get second and third opinions before you commit to a lengthy agreement.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask around.  The coaching industry is booming and you, more than likely, know someone who can recommend a good coach through personal experience.

Have you worked with a life coach?  What tips can you add to maximize your odds of finding a good match?

I’d like to thank Lynda and Susan for taking the time to share their insights from the other end of the coaching experience.  Tune in tomorrow when our coaches respond to the question: How does a client know when he or she is ready to move on from a particular coach?

Lynda Levy is a psychologist and life coach dedicated to helping women achieve their professional potential based in the Los Angeles area.  Though her website is under construction, she can be reached via email.

Susan Marque is a food and life coach that uses nutrition to help her clients achieve their life goals; she’s also based in the Los Angeles area.  She previously stopped by my blog to discuss office nutrition dos and don’ts.

Disclaimer: I have never been a paying client of either of the above coaches, but I still like them both lots.

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The coaching explosion

photo by pixel_addict

I’m begrudgingly hiring someone to do a resume and cover letter makeover. Begrudgingly, because it seems absurd that I should need that service, but I’m not getting results myself.  And in considering Einstein’s definition of insanity — “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” — it’s high time I shake things up after almost a year of getting no where.

When I was in high school — a long, long time ago in the 1990s — a conscientious student took at SAT prep class to ensure the best scores possible.  I spent my summer with the Princeton Review, an instructor who brought a pet hedgehog in for show & tell, and a guy who frequently arrived to class shoeless because he liked to drive barefoot.  That class covered the parental responsibility of their child’s college preparedness.

Today, parents hire pre-school admissions counselors and overbook their 2 year olds.  Teens are more self-conscious than ever; thanks to media, parents, and peers; creating a need for self-esteem coaching. SAT prep classes are no longer optional, and college application counselors are run of the mill, but it’s not the end of the coaching story.  Pending college grads need resume writers and career coaches before setting off for the real world.  Just around the corner is the quarterlife crisis, another bump in the road we all work to smooth.

Once you’ve made peace with whatever kind of career you want to have, the promotion choo-choo is calling all-aboard.  So you can hire coaches to make you a better communicator and to develop your leadership potential.

But let’s say you settle into a job you love, surrounded by great friends.  If you are unhappy that you haven’t found “the one” yet, you can turn to a variety of dating coaches. But once you’ve found “the one”, chances are you’ll want to be one size smaller come your wedding day, so you can hire coach support for that endeavor as well, beyond the personal trainers that push you to do one more set of crunches.

Since women juggle their career with a larger slice of the parenting pie in many homes, a motherhood coach just might be in order.  But don’t fret young dads, you can hire the sleep coach (I’m not kidding) to best manage baby zzzzs, so that everyone gets a more restful shut eye.

At this point, you’re dragging your children into the world of coaching, while you turn to a variety of experts for your own growth at different stages of your personal and professional life.  At what point is enough, enough?  This coaching culture reinforces the feeling of inadequacy that the advertising industry works so hard to instill.  Do we really have to spend what amounts to a second college degree on umpteen sets of rules on how to be good, better, best?  Can you ever be good enough at anything to warrant putting a stop to the coaching?   When I’m in my final years of life, will I be hiring the hospice coach that will teach me to drape, just so, across my pillow, so I can expire with the best show of dignity and resignation?

It makes you wonder, what happens to all the people who can’t afford coaching?

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