In 2006 she gave a talk at the annual elitist TED conference about the biochemical and behavioral markers of romantic love, as well as gender differences.  If you’re not likely to read the book, take 20 minutes of your day to watch the video.

Do the same rules apply to you?

photo by Hamed Masoumi

“We accept the love that we think we deserve.”

–Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I met Stephany Alexander, the founder of WomanSavers this afternoon. She launched the website several years ago after she found herself in yet another dead end relationship with an abusive guy. She thought surely there must be a be a way to screen men before you date them. So WomanSavers was born. Women can anonymously review past boyfriends on categories such as “infidelity, trust, abuse, commitment and general character.” All postings must be true, or the poster runs the risk of a libel lawsuit if the guy in question catches on. If he’s a cad, you can detail him a such, as long as you have the evidence and relationship to back it up. It’s a great database to check up on current beaus and rate your past ones for their futures dates to check out.

Alexander also recommends background checks on new boyfriends, just to make sure they’re on the level. There’s nothing like dating a guy for a couple of months only to find out he’s married with children or single with 4 maxed out credit cards. She recommends KnowX.com, which runs just $25 per background check.