Tag Archive for 'personal development'

Trust30 | cogs don’t thrive; they perform competently.

Cookie Cuttersphoto © 2008 Richard Schatzberger | more info (via: Wylio)One size does not fit all.

Cogs don’t thrive; they perform competently.

Self-help and personal growth is a huge and lucrative industry. But checklists won’t change your life. Best practices help you blend it, not stand out.

Slice and dice the professionally penned words of wisdom to take what resonates with you. Which bits help you embrace your given and trained talents? Deep dive there.

Your user’s manual is unlike that of anyone else’s. Yeah. Sometimes it feels like invisible ink is involved, but it’s all for you.  Trial and error unlocks each chapter.

You have to be ready for change.

Find your strengths in the struggle.  Own them. Game them. Take no prisoners.

The above is my sixth entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?

Trust30 | 5 years

Harper Lee Letters from Garden & Gun magazinephoto © 2010 William Arthur Fine Stationery | more info (via: Wylio)The below is my fifth entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

To 2006 Zak:

You’re a passionate person with seemingly disparate interests that can pull you in any number of directions, but they will eventually flow together. There’s no need to rush it or do it all at once. Pick one and see where it takes you.

If it doesn’t work, try something else as your passions evolve. As much as you’d like to be the hare, succeeding hard and fast, you’re shaping up to me more of the tortoise. And there’s nothing wrong with taking the long way round.

You’ve always had a different agenda from your peers. The most important lesson for you to learn now is to pay less attention to what other people are thinking. To live in fear of judgment is to self-censor so completely that you deny your gifts.

If you have to leave part of you at home, something is wrong. When you can’t express your honest thoughts, you have haven’t found your tribe. Because you can only shine and be open to infinite possibilities if you can bring your whole self to the party every day.

Lead with an open heart and mind to find the rip chords of adventure that are waiting for you.

To 2016 Zak:

Satisfaction suits you. It’s a rare person who has the luxury of getting paid to be herself and tie her passions together. You’ve found space in which characters are celebrated, not merely tolerated.

Though you are a few years off from bootstrapping your own company, the mentors you’ve found in the last few years will help you realize the opportunities when the time is right.

A decade of dead ends and pivots have finally paid off for you. Failure is no longer scary, it’s a pit stop on the way to hitting your target. When you fall down, you pick yourself up like no other. And there’s the secret sauce of your success — letting go of your expectations, ignoring judgments of those not in the moment with you, and acting on the relevant signs and signals, even when it takes a leap of faith.

Keep on making it look easy. We both know the truth.

 

Trust30 | zigging and zagging across Europe

I miss going away, all the time.photo © 2007 Julia P | more info (via: Wylio)II’ve always considered London the gateway city to Europe.  Given the close proximity of countries on that continent, London seems to be an excellent base camp for taking advantage of it all.

Unlike the 70 percent of Americans without passports, I am eager to fill mine with entry and exit stamps as time and money permit.

In fact, it is a life goal to live and work in London at some point in the next decade or so, in order to take advantage of the city hopping opportunities afforded by long weekends in a country with a more generous vacation policy than in the States.

Oh, to ride the gondolas in Venice before rising seas sink the city for good. Or revisiting Giverny, this time when Monet’s gardens are in full bloom. And I’m enough of a speed demon to want to drive the German autobahn.

Doesn’t everyone want to know what Holland sites are must sees? Though I’m not much of a skier, everyone should experience a getaway to a real Swiss chalet at least once.

The possibilities for adventure are endless within the bounds of a several year stint in London. Realistically, I’m more likely to save up for several multi-week treks across different parts of Europe. But I’m still open to the opportunities that could move me abroad.

What travels are on your bucket list?

The above is my fourth entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

It’s not too late to sign up and participate.

Trust30 | making a name for myself

Dream Bigphoto © 2011 Joamm Tall | more info (via: Wylio)Over at The Freedom Experiment, Marthe asks readers, “What is your sacred, most intimate dream?” because she “believe[s] that dreams become more powerful when shared. Stars align when people know your deepest desires.”

After the past few months of soul searching, my deep-rooted dream is to track toward life as a technology evangelist.

Yes, plenty of people focus on the relationship drawbacks of the digital universe.

But I prefer to focus on the transformative nature of social technology and its many products, networks and interfaces. Culture shift is taking place rapidly. Affordable mobile phone service in Africa made independent contracting possible for those who had otherwise limited work options. Text4Baby provides a valuable public service in sending subscribing moms regular text message updates with relevant information on maternal and baby health. And tools like Twitter have connected and enhanced interactions between private citizens and their political representatives; #weinergate disappointments aside.

In the not too distant future, I could very much see myself on the conference circuit with a book under my belt, as an expert in that arena because it just lights me up to talk about social technology. And when I get going in conversation, the giddy is contagious.

But to do that I need to get my foot in the door, preferably in mobile.

I need to parlay communications and project management experience, paid and unpaid, across academic, corporate and nonprofit environments, into a contributing position at a start up or technology company moving full speed ahead in that space.

Of course, the best place to be is in San Francisco, so I’m applying for relevant jobs there and seeking out connections in my network to try to find an in.

My biggest obstacle is just asking for help, just putting it out there. While I prefer to be radically self-sufficient, I see the truth in Marthe’s words that “only when you share your dreams do you create space for people to reach out.”

Last Tuesday, I posted about my job hunt in a private Facebook group. By late afternoon, I had an interview scheduled with a company that I had applied to the Friday before. Immediately after a promising first round, I  ran into a neighbor I have spoken to just a handful of times in the 2 years I have lived in here. Turns out she’s a flight attendant who can potentially set me up with a discount flight, should round 2 come through. And I’ve found at least one sofa that’s freely available to me should I get the call for round 2 with this company or another in the Bay area.

Just because I dared to speak my dreams to the people who would listen.

What do your dreams look like?

The above is my third entry in the #Trust30 for the Ralph Waldo Emerson self-reliance blog challenge. The task: What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue?

It’s not too late to sign up and participate.

Social networking makes professional women more competitive

network

graphic by jared

I’ve been thinking about the background research on that McKinsey study of Model Centered Leadership.  Particularly the brief mention about how

men tend to build broader, shallower networks than women do and that the networks of men give them a wider range of resources for gaining knowledge and professional opportunities.

Given the very long arm of social networks, it seems as though the internet is helping to level the networking playing field for professional women.  Women are definitely engaging online; for instance, 55% of FaceBook users are female.

How do the two relate?  I read status updates on a regular basis indicating my friends and acquaintances are connecting with elementary school friends, long last college hall mates, former professors, etc.

Ten years ago, you had no way of keeping track of hundreds of tangential connections that you hold face or name recognition with, but little more.  Now you can connect online with just about every person you meet in real time. . . not that you’d want to.

When you’re looking for a new job or a new house or a new boyfriend, your circle of connections has grown that much larger when you connect with people you liked from past chapters of your life, people you’d otherwise have lost touched with, if not for social networking.

Isn’t social networking allowing us all to build broad, shallow networks of acquaintances we can reach out to as needed?  This natural evolution of the internet seems to be giving women the tools to be as competitive as men when it comes to networking.

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McKinsey's Model Centered Leadership for Women

professionals

photo by foreignoffice

In the latest edition of McKinsey & Company’s  quarterly journal, several consultants expound upon the facets of “model centered leadership,” a type of they’ve identified through extensive interviewing of successful business leaders (primarily women) around the world, from a variety of industries.

it’s about having a well of physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual strength that drives personal achievement and, in turn, inspires others to follow.

There are five key elements according to their research that can help women shift from mere worker to office leader.  As you read, consider how each factors into your work persona and the office politics you engage in.

Meaning

Haven’t we all be told that we should follow our passions; the money will follow?  When you’re getting out of bed 5+ days a week to work on projects that light a fire under you, you’re more attentive and dedicated.

Additionally, tapping into your strengths should allow you to enjoy your time at the office.

People seeking to define what is meaningful can start, as one interviewee put it, by “being honest with yourself about what you’re good at and what you enjoy doing.” Building these signature strengths into everyday activities at work makes you happier, in part by making these activities more meaningful.

Managing Energy

Ever get totally lost in an assignment and before you know it, the day is over? Is that more the norm than a rarity? If so, consider yourself lucky.  Employees that get caught in “flow” are “more productive and derived greater satisfaction from their work than those who did not.”   They’re just as jazzed at the end of the day as when they started.

If you aren’t so lucky as to enjoy “flow,” you still need to find time for a mental and spiritual regroup when you start fading during the work day.  Meditate, stretch, take a walk around the block, anything to take your mind off work for a brief respite.

In fact, you might even talk your employer into providing a power nap space for you and your fellow workers as midday naps are increasingly linked to improved brain function when it came to recall and rote activity, as well as lower risk of heart attack.

Positive Framing

Positive psychology is all the rage.  Martin’s Seligman, from the University of Pennsylvania invites people to take a variety of online quizzes determining your positive quotient.   A new Harvard/UC San Diego study finds that happiness rubs off on the people around you, so just surrounding yourself with a happy  network of people should boost that sentiment within.  Older studies find happy people live longer.

In a similar vein, McKinsey’s researcher found positive framing makes for more proactive leaders who aren’t overwhelmed by failure, but who instead look for the opportunity to turn a situation around.  Positive framing “accepts the facts of adversity and counters them with action.”

If a meeting goes badly, for example, you should limit your thoughts about it to its temporary and specific impact and keep them impersonal. It helps to talk with trusted colleagues about the reasons for the poor meeting and ways to do better next time. These discussions should take place quickly enough for you to make a specific plan and act on it. You should also undertake some activity that will restore both your energy and your faith in yourself

Connecting

Over and over we hear it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.  And to make it as a mover and shaker one needs to cast a pretty wide net.  Past research shows that

People with strong networks and good mentors enjoy more promotions, higher pay, and greater career satisfaction.

Does the type of networking matter?  Evidence is increasingly showing that men and women network differently.

men tend to build broader, shallower networks than women do and that the networks of men give them a wider range of resources for gaining knowledge and professional opportunities.

A women’s focus on building strong relationships isn’t necessarily an asset if you have a great action plan, but don’t have a diverse enough base of contacts to put that plan into play.   So when scheduling those first networking events of 2009, try to go to a few outside your comfort zone and meet people in a different industry. You never know when those casual acquaintances could come in handy.

Interestingly, McKinsey researchers found that unlike men, women don’t innately embrace the concept of “reciprocity”.   When someone reaches out to help you, it’s standard to return the favor.  In fact, making the assist first is more apt to get you the aid you want or need.

I refer back to my own Golden Rule of Networking: when making new connections, I’m always thinking about what I can do for the people I meet; frequently it means making introductions to other people I know.  The same is true when trying to get ahead in the work place.  How can you make a positive impression that serves your supervisor or  senior management.

Though I can’t find the post at the moment,  a blogger recently shared his uses of google alerts to impress a senior level executive in his company.  He subscribed to a number of feeds relevant to the competition and the market place, pulling out the key news pieces each week.  He sent a weekly news round up to that senior executive.  The blogger took action that is useful to the senior level executive who now thinks of Joe Blogger at least once a week when that news round up dings in his in box.

Given the Old Boys’ Network, men are well aware of  the notion that if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.  Ladies, we need to own that very same philosophy.

These connections and cross-promotional efforts are what drive networking organizations like Ladies Who Launch, Downtown Women’s Club, Step Up Women’s Network and Success in the City..  Organizations and networking groups like these exist in major cities across the US.  Take some time to google the opportunities in your city.

Engaging

Your next promotion isn’t going to come to you, you need to create the environment to make it happen.  Speak up and  contribute at staff meetings. Document your successes and the company cost savings you’re responsible for.  If you won’t champion yourself, who will?

Women need to be willing to take risks and “‘create their own luck‘” to get noticed. Some of us are willing to take the leap based on our gut, others take more calculated shots, but we need to engage with colleagues and supervisors to take it to the next level.

Final Thoughts

After reading through the five characteristics of model centered leadership, it was pretty obvious to me that connecting comes naturally to me (as evidenced by the lengthy pontification on that subject above.)

On the other hand, I hate taking risks unless I’m pretty sure I’m right.  I typically would rather stay silent than risk being wrong; it’s a behavior that’s made me a stellar observer.   However, I’m going to make a more conscious effort to be daring in my decision making.

Did any of the above traits resonate with you? Which seem the most foreign?

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Talking to your inner child

climb-treephoto by learnsomethingnew

Gloria Steinem spoke on a moderated panel at the California Governor’s conference this fall. At one point, moderator Farai Chideya asked feminist Steinem what her little 9 year-old girl self would say to the other panelist’s 9-year-old girl self.

In the ensuing discussion, Steinem suggested that “who you are at 9 or 10 is who we are at 60.” She noted that young kids at nine or ten have absolute clarity about their passions. They’re climbing trees and exploring the world and haven’t yet added the word impossible to their vocabularies. Tweens are “full of wonder.”

Given I’m in a major career transition, and have spent more than a year struggling with the notion of what I should do versus what my passions could fuel, Steinem’s comments gave me pause.

My inner child

As I hit middle school, I became thoroughly obsessed with social activism, in particular, saving the planet. I read about recycling and ocean pollutions and worried endlessly about the plight of sea turtles eating plastic bags, which is probably why the Santa Monica Plastic Bag Monster stunt tickled me recently.

While communities were just beginning to offer curbside recycling programs, our family always had the most recycling bins out in our neighborhood. In fact, my mom’s best friend used to tease her about the extent of our recycling: stacks of newspapers; bundles of junk mail and magazines; glass, aluminum and tin bottles, jars and cans.   Though I realized that one family recycling wasn’t putting a dent in the landfill problem, I dreamt of a day when everyone recycled as much of their garbage as possible.

In the 5th grade, I also began to realize that not everyone was equal, which lit my interest in social justice, as well as equitable and utilitarian treatment of all people.  I wanted to be unwaveringly fair in my actions, not just self-serving.  I sought to do what was right for everyone, even if it meant a temporary dip in my own life.  My experience staying silent while another kid was tease mercilessly for being different definitely contributed to that philosophy.

Full Stop

But I hit the metaphorical brick wall in high school.

At fifteen, I helped lead the charge against a 6-community referendum to break up a school district.  Adults rallied support for break up of the district using socioeconomic snobbery and even mock seances — yes, seriously.   After forming a student group, we attended public meetings and canvassed the neighborhood, though derided by local school administrators and parents on the other side.   The teenagers fighting the referendum spent hours in the library researching the economic and social costs of breaking up the district; in reality, more regionalization made fiscal sense than less.

And we fought the good fight.  I remember the day one classmate approached me and told me that she could never do what I was doing, but she was 100% behind me.  Someone needed to take a stand, it just wasn’t going to be her.

But we lost.  And the district was dissolved.  Ironically, the prognostications of teens came to be.  Over the next five years schools taxes shot up, the performance of the athletic teams (with slimmer pickings) diminished, and the number of courses offerings declined.  While we were satisfied to be right, we wished we had been wrong.

A few tiny details slammed the breaks on activism for me.  Afterwards, a story trickled down through the ranks.  A lot of favors were owed all the way up to the governor’s office. One way or another this district was being dismantled, even though it completely contradicted the Governor’s very public support of regionalization to streamline costs throughout the state.    When people questioned the legality of using a referendum to dissolve the district, all copies of the district charter mysteriously vanished.

Powerful forces beyond our control worked hard to ensure the appropriate “democratic” outcome. The people were squelched.  The little guy was silenced.  The power brokers made a decision, and the die were set.  And at 15 and 16, I just wasn’t ready to maneuver the shady back room dealings of politics. Though I fight fair, I hadn’t yet accepted that most at that level are just playing to win. It’s personal, not community- focused.

Waking up

This year,  I  found my spark again.  Watching Obama’s team out campaign the GOP made me realize that I am no less capable of gaming the system in the name of the greater good. Sometimes you have to play by the other team’s rules just to get in the game, but you don’t have to dump your own values in the process.

Excessive volunteerism allowed me to develop the skill sets I need to reconnect with activism.  I’ve revisited the development and ongoing review of the strategy that can take me from A to B.  As much as I hate public speaking, I’m more comfortable rallying the troops and inspiring people to act than anytime in recent memory.  And I’m well-versed in the nitty gritty of data management and manipulation.

At the moment, my search is on for the right opportunity to splice with my aptitude, because I’m pretty sure that who I was at ten is who I’ll be at thirty.   What feels like a quarterlife quagmire seems to be me coming full circle.

But enough about me; take your own trip down memory lane.  What motivated your ten-year old self to act?  Who did you want to be when you grew up? Are you there yet?

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Mental health parity

effexor

photo by nicasaurusrex

For years insurance companies have dictated how much psychological and psychiatric care patients covered by their policies can receive.  Most policy plans limited the number of sessions covered per year, with the exception of conditions like extreme anxiety.

Imagine being treated for cancer and being told by the insurance company that you’ll be covered for 2 rounds of chemo, even though your doctor thinks 4 are medically necessarily.  Or being told by your doctor that you need to take 10 days of antibiotics to clear an infection from your system, but the insurance company will only pay for 7.

People seeking help for eating disorders have frequently found themselves at odds with their insurance companies, despite having “the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.”  Because treatment can last months, if not years, and include very expensive inpatient treatment, insurance companies work hard to limit treatment for those diagnosed, except when patients are speeding towards the point of no return.

Let’s say that you have coverage and that it pays at the beginning of treatment at an eating disorder treatment center. You then learn, though, that it will only pay for the first ten days of your stay. Your treatment plan says that you should stay for six weeks. Given that a treatment center’s cost per month can range in to the tens of thousands of dollars, it’s clear why many families must take out second home mortgages to pay for their loved ones’ treatment.

A treatment plan may include outpatient therapy, residential care, inpatient treatment, hospital care, support from a dietitian, medications or other options. Insurance providers can draw the line in seemingly random and confusing places to disallow parts of the treatment you seek.

In other instances, people find themselves blocked from insurance coverage because of previous use of medications for anxiety or depression.  After applying for individual insurance after graduate school, I was turned down for a policy because I had taken anxiety medication in the previous year, while being treated for a series of panic attacks.   Since mental health conditions are rarely easy fixes with a short stint on medication, any pre-existing treatment for a mental health issue can make it that much harder to insure.

Why are ailments of the mind judged differently then lifelong allegies in the minds of insurers?  What of diabetics that take insulin daily?  Surely no one illness is more deserving of coverage than another.  And why should your co-pays differ if you see a psychiatrist, instead of a urologist?

While it shouldn’t take an act of Congress to achieve mental health parity in insurance coverage, Americans recently got one to usher in a bit more fairness in their health care coverage.

Remember that 2.5 page Wall Street bailout/rescue that turned into a 417 page bill, filled with the special projects needed to get the support of enough Congresspersons and Senators to pass?  The Wall Street Bailout mandated change via the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008 .

Under the bill, if a group health plan covers the treatment of mental illness or drug or alcohol abuse, the treatment limits and financial requirements for these services can be ‘no more restrictive’ than those that apply to medical and surgical benefits.

What this means, the bill says, is that co-payments, deductibles and out-of-pocket expenses for mental health services cannot be higher than those for treatment of physical illnesses.

By January of 2010, insurers will be treating physical and psychological conditions equitably.  And it can’t come soon enough for the 8 million suffering from an eating disorder,  15 million depressed Americans or overwhelmed college students. A 2004 study found that,”Almost 40% of the men and 50% of the women reported feeling so depressed that they had difficulty functioning one or more times.”

It’s especially important to women since 7 in 8 diagnosed with an eating disorder are women, and women are twice as likely to become depressed compared with men.

Unfortunately, for women, this bill doesn’t begin to address the higher premiums women pay for the same insurance coverage available to men.  But we’ll save that conversation for another blog post.

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$10,000 scholarship for student bloggers

From over at CollegeScholarships:

Is Your Blog Worthy of a $10,000 Scholarship?

Do you maintain a weblog and attend college? Would you like $10,000 to help pay for books, tuition, or other living costs? If so, read on.

We’re giving away $10,000 this year to a college student who blogs. The Blogging Scholarship is awarded annually.

Scholarship Requirements:

  • Your blog must contain unique and interesting information about you and/or things you are passionate about. No spam bloggers please!!!
  • U.S. citizen or permanent resident;
  • Currently attending full-time in post-secondary education in the United States; and
  • If you win, you must be willing to allow us to list your name and blog on this page. We want to be able to say we knew you before you became a well educated, rich, and famous blogging legend.

Important Dates:

  • Accepting Submissions: October 15th, 2008
  • Submission Deadline: October 30th, 2008

Visit their site to complete a 300 word essay regarding blogging.

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10/3 Deadline: Goals B4 Turning 30 TV Opportunity

For those of you dreaming of being a hit reality TV star, pull it together.

An opportunity was passed along via a yahoo group that I’m part of. All the details I have are below, use the contact info below to follow up.

I am currently casting a show for a major television network.  We are looking for groups of women (friends, coworkers, club members, etc.) in their 20s and 30s who have a list of goals they’d like to accomplish before turning 30 or 40.  The show will focus on self-discovery and empowerment.  It will have a very positive and inspirational message.  Because the show will require a minimal time commitment (possibly just a few days of filming), all of you are welcome to submit.  Also, I would be very grateful if you could forward my casting to any of your friends or colleagues that might be interested.

We will be visiting San Francisco, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Washington DC but are accepting video submissions from all over the country!

DO YOU HAVE A LIST OF THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU TURN 30 OR 40?

A MAJOR NETWORK WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU AND YOUR 3 GIRLFRIENDS A LIFE CHANGING TRANSFORMATIONAL OPPORTUNITY.

Are you excited or nervous about turning the big 3-0 or 4-0?  Do you have a vision of life at 30 or 40 and what you want to achieve before that happens? Tell us what the top 10-15 things on your “To Do Before 30/40″ list are and a major network may help those dreams become a reality.  Send us:

1.    Name, Age, City, Current Occupation, Phone number and email address

2.    Top 10-15 Things you want to do before you turn 30/40 and why?

3.    Recent picture of you and two or three girlfriends you would want to participate in helping you complete your list and their contact info.

If you are interested in participating, please email angie500things(AT)gmail.com ASAP or by THIS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3RD with the above information, and someone will be in touch.  We will send you a formal application after receiving your response if we would like to move forward.  We are coming to San Francisco, Chicago, Washington DC, and Los Angeles to conduct interviews!

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